The Maybe Effect

Facebookers are most likely all guilty of the maybe effect. It starts when you get an invitation to an event, and you skim through the details, and when presented with three options, you choose “maybe” instead of just plain “yes” or “no”. I’m not sure how everyone else feels about this, but I wish the “maybe” were not an option. Perhaps you’ve created an event, invited all of your guests, and then waited for a week or longer to see who is coming. You check back and see an overwhelming reply of “maybes”. Do you feel a little bit like, “uhm, so are ya coming or not?”

It’s kind of insulting (just kind of). I realize some people are likely being genuine when they say “maybe” but on another hand, it feels much more like a polite way of saying one of the following things:

1. No way, I’m not coming to your stupid event

2. I’ll come if I don’t have anything better to do that day

3. I’ll check back and see who all is attending and then maybe change my RSVP to yes

4. Your event isn’t important enough for me to actually reserve the time on my calendar

5. I’m not committing to anything this far in advance

But then there’s those who don’t even bother to respond at all. And I am not sure if that’s worse or if that’s better. I don’t remember wedding invitations, baby shower or party invitations (actual paper invites in the mail) having a “maybe” option on the RSVP card. Why are people in the digital age so free to choose not to commit to anything? It seems all too easy these days to use new technology as excuses for not being responsible for our actions, choices and responses/reactions.

For instance, everyone has done this: “hmmm I didn’t get that text” or “really? I never got that email”. Why? Because we can blame it on technology so easily. Get a friend request from someone you don’t care to be friends with on Facebook? Instead of being honest with yourself and your newly requested friend, you can choose to “ignore” the request. That’s the easy way out. And I’m worried about the effects of this behavior.

So it’s understandably socially acceptable to be a lousy (or lazy) decision maker, ignore people, and create false blame. Is this really how we – as creatures actively engaged and involved in the internet – should act? This seemingly acceptable and socially influential behavior breaks down the trust factor. And without trust, most relationships are sure to fail.